Last week I made the big decision to resign from my permanent role. It was a difficult decision to make, but I had realised and accepted that I might not get the chance to try something new again for a long time. The opportunity seemed too big to turn down. My boss has always been a great support, and telling her that I was resigning was nerve racking. She took the news well and encouraged my thoughts about the future. I felt lucky that our meeting wasn’t awkward, and that she didn’t make me feel guilty for wanting to leave. Over the last couple of weeks I have been thinking about the future and what I would like to achieve. I have remained realistic, and know that big changes won’t happen straight away, but hopefully if I remain committed to writing, my career will start to develop and be guided in a new direction. I have the freelance writing job that I am currently working on (read more about this here), and I hope that this will give me some relevant experience and confidence to re-invent myself as a writer. I have really enjoyed writing more over the last six months, but I have also been enjoying reading as much as I can to gain insight and inspiration. A couple of concepts have really caught my eye and stayed with me this week.
The first was tweeted by author Kit de Waal; “leap and the net will appear” (John Burrows). This seems particularly relevant at the moment as it really does feel that the safe option is to carry on with life as it is, rather than having the courage to make a change. This is especially true when the change has risks attached. By leaving my permanent role behind, I will no longer have the safety of a regular income nor the knowledge that I could stay in that role forever if I wanted to. However, the pull of allowing myself the opportunity to become a writer is so strong, and I feel that if I don’t do it now I never will. Finally I feel that I am grabbing this opportunity whilst it is here, and I am so determined to make the most of it. I have battled with doing the ‘sensible thing’ and staying in the job I am doing now, but this job doesn’t inspire me and I know that it is not truly what I want to do. Instead, I have decided to make the leap, and hope that with hard work and determination I will be able to balance quality family time with earning enough money to keep us financially secure. I also hope that allowing myself to do more writing will bring me more happiness, and a feeling of purpose, than continuing in a job that I no longer feel passionate about. I hope that the net won’t be needed, but if things don’t go to plan I will need to think of an alternative way of supporting our family. Out of necessity, I am sure I would be able to find something.
The second concept was from an article I read earlier this week which said that the founder of Amazon didn’t believe in work life balance, but rather in work life harmony. This is the idea that the work you do and the things that you enjoy should blend together seamlessly, rather than being two separate entities. This is not a concept that I have really considered as an option for myself before and although I found it a bit idealistic, I did like the premise that work doesn’t have to be something that you do whilst you are not doing the things you enjoy, and that work could in fact blend with other aspects of life and be part of the things you love. I do feel that doing something creative like writing might give me the opportunity to work on something I enjoy, rather than squeezing writing in late in the evening or early in the morning. I am not so naïve to think that every day spent writing will be filled with pure pleasure; writing is a difficult task and can be frustrating and demanding. It also does not pay well unless you become hugely successful. However, at least I will be giving myself the opportunity to see if this is what I really want, and to know whether I can make it a success. At the moment, the most important thing seems to be actually giving myself the chance to do it, not the final result.